Tips For Dating (Girl Version)

I love going on dates, but I hate it when the man I go out with decides to make it all official.  And by official, I don’t just mean being asked to be boyfriend/girlfriend.  I mean the constant texts, phone calls and facebook messages.  It gets to the point where if I don’t reply quickly I get another text saying ‘why aren’t you answering?’.

Since this has happened several times to me (I sure know how to pick ’em), I came up with a few simple tips for dating to make the guys back off or take a step back.

Kate’s Kool Tips For Dating:

(Yes, I know ‘cool’ isn’t spelt ‘kool’…blame the Kardashians)

  1.  Don’t agree to be their girlfriend (if you feel that they are moving too fast).

So many guys ask to be boyfriend/girlfriend on the 3rd or 4th date.  It has become the ‘dreaded date’ for me.  It just feels awkward.   I just think that being boyfriend/girlfriend on the 3rd/4th date is ridiculous – I mean, I barely know them and they want to make it so official so quickly.  Unless you are absoloutely sure that you want to be official.  I just tell them that I want to get to know them better before we take that next step in the relationship.  That normally works a treat.

2.   Tell them that you can’t text, message or talk during the day because you are busy with work.

Last year I went out with a guy who insisted on multiple good morning texts, good night texts and facebook messages throughout the day.  He kept asking me why I never replied and I said I was too busy with work during the day to actually answer.

It pissed me off so much I had to end things with him.  He still texted a lot though (see number 7 for further steps you can take).

3.    Pay for your meal/movie ticket etc.

My mum always told me to pay my own way.  There are some (very rare) times when I allow a guy to pay for my share.  But then I insist on paying the next time.  My mum’s mum (my Oma) was Dutch…so it literally is going Dutch.

I think that paying your own way means that you don’t have anything to ‘owe’ your date.

4.   Don’t let them get away with anything. 

I think it’s important that a guy you’re dating knows exactly where they stand.  If you don’t want to hug/kiss/snog/’makeout’ yet, it’s probably best to let them know.  Men, surprisingly, aren’t mind-readers.   Writing ‘makeout’ makes me feel like a teenager.  I haven’t been a teenager for 6 years.

5.   Break things off with him if you think that the ‘relationship’ won’t go anywhere.

I agreed to be a guy’s girlfriend once because I was embarrassed and felt sorry for him (he asked me in front of about 5 other people).  I ended up telling him that I thought about it and decided that I wanted to just be friends.  Never agree to something because you feel sorry for him – I learnt that the hard way (I will never get those awful bearhugs from him out of my mind…ugh – it’s not that he was a bad person, I just didn’t like him in that way and he was a bit handsy).

If you feel like the relationship isn’t going to be long-lasting don’t keep going out.  It can be hard to break things off, because you do feel mean.  But you just have to take a deep breath and tell them that you can’t go out with them anymore.   If you aren’t brave enough to tell them to their face – text, call, email will possibly suffice.  It may be harsh to text or email, but at least you won’t have to be nervous about talking face-to-face.

6.   Chivalry may be dead, but still expect someone to use their manners.

Expect a man to use his manners.  If he’s rude to you or talks down to you, don’t take it because it is not nice and it will continue.

Personally, I like it when a guy opens a door for me, helps me with my coat etc.  I just think that it’s manners.  I mean, I would open a door for a guy if I got there first.

Who wants an arsehole boyfriend anyway?

7.    Delete them on facebook, twitter, instagram.

You can also block their number.  I have one called ‘blocked turd’.  He didn’t get the hint for any of the other steps.  Even when I said I wasn’t in the mindframe for a relationship.  He kept calling every month to see if I was ready for a relationship.  Maybe I should have been less subtle and said ‘I don’t like you’.

I also don’t see the point of being friends with an ex on facebook/twitter etc.

So pretty much this list just describes the things you can do to make someone back off.  You don’t need to use all of them.  Just choose a few that could work and trial them.  In extreme cases use all of them.

I think it’s really important to know the man you’re dating before you get ‘serious’.  Because you really don’t know someone properly after just 3 dates.  These tips for dating can be taken with a grain of salt – you either will find them helpful or you will find them not so good.  They are just things that have worked for me!

Peace out

xx

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